Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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