found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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