what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
