i already hear my dad disowning me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
