The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
