Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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