your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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