I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
