Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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