god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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