There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
