hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
