why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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