break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The struggles of a small town man whore
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
