ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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