So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
