I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
