Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
