I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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