I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
