You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
