worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
