Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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