You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
