i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Fuck appropriateness.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
