Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
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Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize