But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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