Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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