I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
