The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
