she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
