its not stalking. its research.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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