Nicole vs. Life
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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