Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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