yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
