It was confusing and full of hummus
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We talked him into tasing himself.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
