I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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