i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
