Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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