***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
