I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
