Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
