i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize