im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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