my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize