Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
