HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
