talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
