grandma shit on top of the toilet
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize