She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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