I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
