Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
