I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
