idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
