I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize