What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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