Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
