I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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