it's too hot outside to masturbate.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
