He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
